SEIU Demands Eternal Life from Congress

On a lighter note, the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) would really like it if Congress could promise “no more empty chairs at Christmas.” Apparently the government now has the secret to eternal life within its grasp, if only it will just reach out and grab it.

But then, why shouldn’t Congress be able to conquer death if the president can slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet? This all reminds me of when I used to watch that show Captain Planet and the Planeteers, which I now realize was ecosocialist propaganda. Can’t you just picture it? “Marx! Lenin! Stalin! Mao! Castro! By your powers combined, I am Captain Communist! Now I will slow the oceans, heal the planet, and we will all live forever!”

If religion is the opiate of the masses, this must be some really good shit.

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